Most conversations have talkers and listeners.
Between you and me, I think the real conversations happen when both people listen, neither talk. I’ve never known this to happen with anyone, but I think it can happen. At least within oneself if not between two distinct people.
Then again there are people who can talk to things others consider inanimate. I know this person who shares a very special connection with her ceiling. She calls him ‘Frank’ (Sinatra fan she insists!). She and Frank have spent many hours contemplating the meaning of life, discussing pain, recollecting the day’s events, setting reminders… she lying on her bed and he always watching over her.
And then again there are people who can talk into space with the conviction that they are being heard… they trust someone is listening to them…someone, anyone. When I was first introduced to chat rooms on the internet that’s what I thought about… so many people talking into space… believing someone is listening…
I don’t think anyone is wrong really… in fact I think everyone is right…
But this isn’t about categorizing conversations…
…..this is about connections… and memories… which get stirred, mixed and glorified by dialogue…
So I don’t want to talk.
I just want you to listen.
I don’t know what this is about.
But maybe…
this is about sitting sleepless at 4 am staring at a pristine white screen. Where letters appear just as easily as they disappear…
this is about not knowing what I want to say and what I want said to me.
this is about uncertainty that I know shrouds the life of even those I want should console me.
this is about me wanting to be told that I am loved but still being too tired to say it back to someone.
this is about me blowing small things out of proportion and trivializing things that should matter.
That’s what I am doing…
Running around in circles… looking for misplaced dreams…
…trying to find that little part of the soul that churns out the new ones…
Forgetting halfway what it was I was looking for…
........ ..... .... ... ......... .. ........ what was I going to say?
Wake up! Get up … enough already…
Stirring the soul out of its vacation.... definitely NOT easy...
*sigh :)
3 comments:
Aww, I insist, the most fun type of conversation happens at Bschool group discussions.... where 15 people talk, and noone listens.
And as for Running around in circles… looking for misplaced dreams…, don't we all do that, all the time?
lol@what sin-pin said about B school discussions.
Joining RB in lol @ Bschool group discussions! Yup, I bet those would have to be fun!
And yes... does everyone else do that? Nobody told me!!!
And whats with not letting the neice feel deprived. Let me miserable for a bit no! Its so much fun! :)
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